When a man from England stumbled upon a Facebook group called “Maryland is a cult. Not a state,” he decided to join purely because the name made him laugh. Having never visited the U.S., let alone Maryland, his only prior association with the word “Maryland” was a popular British brand of cookies. But after four months in the group, he’s developed a surprisingly sharp understanding of what makes Marylanders tick.
In a post that quickly gained traction, he confessed, “I have a confession. I’ve never been to Maryland, I’ve never left England. I only joined the group because I thought the group page name was hilarious. The only Maryland over here is a popular brand of cookie. But after being in the group for 4 months, here’s what I learned.”
What follows is a tongue-in-cheek love letter to our state, and a testament to how fiercely Marylanders celebrate their culture. He notes first and foremost the pride residents have for their home. “Even mentioning that fact scares me,” he joked, “because I know if it came to a war between Maryland and the other 49 states, Maryland would fight to the death until they capture D.C. and make the United States of Maryland a reality.”
Crabs, naturally, featured prominently in his observations. “You guys like crab. Like really really like crab, to the point it’s basically worshipped,” he wrote. Along with that comes a reverence for Old Bay seasoning, which he admitted he has never tasted because it isn’t sold in England. Still, from what he’s seen in the group, he imagines it’s “some Cajun spice type deal” and joked that Marylanders are “this close to snorting the stuff.”
He also learned that not all crab is created equal. Marylanders, he discovered, are staunch defenders of steaming their crabs, while the Louisiana style of boiling them is considered borderline sacrilege. “It seems like the Louisiana style of cooking crab by boiling it warrants the death penalty in some parts of Maryland. Steaming is the only way apparently,” he said.
On the subject of geography, he observed the complicated relationship between Baltimore and the rest of the state. “Baltimore is its own state essentially. And the rest of the state looks at it with disdain/dissociation.” And, like any true Marylander, he couldn’t ignore the daily grind on the roads. “Traffic is HORRENDOUS over there,” he concluded.
While he may have never set foot in Maryland, his satirical yet insightful take shows just how deeply a sense of identity runs among its residents, something even a newcomer from across the Atlantic can quickly pick up on.
